conversations with my little dude

oops - forgot to post this!  sorry of my life these days.

there is nothing quite as funny as conversations with my almost three-year old.  he is priceless.

the other morning, when he was running to the van (because i'm learned 2-year old boys rarely walk!), he fell and scraped the palm of his hand.

after the tears were dried and the hand was kissed numerous times, we started chatting as i backed out of the driveway.

j:  mommy, did you ever scrap your hand a-fore?

m: i sure did.

j: did you ever scrap your knee a-fore?

me: i sure did and i ripped a hole in my pants! (sadly, i was referring to an instance only a few years ago...)

j: {makes a shocked wide-open-mouthed expression... it was so sweet!}

the van is quiet for a few minutes.  he's pondering.

j: my hand is steamin'.

me: your hand is "steaming"?!

j: ya, it's steamin' real bad! 

(starts crying again)

me: do you mean stinging?!

j:  YA, it's steamin' REAL bad!

me:  try licking it! 

(i don't really know what to say to be helpful.  i thought licking it might help...!?)

licking his hand for a few minutes.

stops

j:  frogs got real long tongues.

m: really?! 

(the licking distraction worked.  score one for me!)

j:  i got a real little tongue.

me: oh, really?!

j: you got a real long tongue.  continues licking.

oooooh, man.  kid, you make me laugh and fill my life with little moments of joy.  thank you, little j, for being my boy. 

letter to my girls :: 10 months

to my girls,

how in the world are you 10 months old?!  this past year has been so full, so fully alive.  how is it almost your birthday?  with each new tooth you spring, i mourn the speed that your first months have passed, but i am also so happy to see you growing, to wonder who you'll become.

i look at you sometimes still and wonder how in the world you are both mine.  i wonder why in the world God trusted you to me. i wonder how to be a good mom to little girls, but i have more faith now that i will figure it out along the way; that the love i have for you will overcome my fears.

everly, you are full of spunk and smirks.  you talk non-stop, babbling "daddadadadada" or "mom mom mom" during dinnertime or "yayayayayaya" when you are happy and trying to get judah's attention.   you make me laugh with your continual "smoking" of everything in sight - play carrots, real carrots, felts, toys, anything you can find.  you have a mischievous gleam to your eyes but are also content and quietly observe the craziness around you.  we call you ever & evie & ever-eeeee (judah's favorite nickname for you!)  i love you, my lovely girl.

bria, you are full of giggles and smiles.  you growl, like a tiger.  all. the. time.  it is the funniest thing and stops people in their tracks.  you are the prettiest tiger around.  you baby babble, but rarely.  and usually only when the other two are quiet.  you climb everything.  you are so, so happy when teetering on top of a chair or a stool or a toy.  it scares me.  you hid under everything else.  it makes me laugh.  we usually call you bee or, less often, bree.  i love you, my sweet bee.

xo

your mom.

p.s. - thank you for choosing this month, on the same week, to start sleeping through the night.  you gave me a new level of sanity and i will be forever grateful.

five things

 comeback kid (that's my dog) by brett dennen

{as embarrassing as it is, i have to admit, i have been blasting this song in the ole' minivan lately.  something about it just makes me feel like dancing.}

{between the recipes and the toddler activities and the photo inspiration.  yup, i'm a.d.d.i.c.t.e.d.}

{it has been a long time since i've read a novel of jodi picoult.  the thing i forgot i love about her writing is that she deals with complex, heart-wretching issues.  this one didn't disappoint.  except for the ending.  a total shocker.  but a sad shocker.  and it made me mad.  i almost threw the book across the kitchen.  its been a long time since a novel made me get mad at it... *be warned!*}

{this nail polish for my little dude.  he loves his toes painted.  and this glittery grey keeps daddy happy (cause it's not pink!) and it keeps mommy happy cause its made without yucky stuff that is in normal nail polish.  apparently you can DRINK the nail polish remover.  we haven't tried it. yet.}

{jillian michael's pumpkin cranberry recipe -- ooooooh, momma.  the recipe uses pumpkin, coconut milk, maple syrup, and olive oil in place of sugar and butter.  delicious and moist.  they were a hit with both my boys!}

seriously, its december?!  the last few months have just flown by.  i feel like that statement is so cliche, but the older i get and the more babies i have (ha!), the faster the moments fly by.  this last month has been family sessions and newborn sessions and a little family vacation and goals and planning.  its all so very exciting.

last year was a really strange time during the winter, with virtually no sessions from december to march.  the weather stinks.  so i get to read, sit by the fire, watch movies, drink wine with my hubby, snuggle a baby, wrangle a toddler, read, drink tea, read a bit more.  i am so looking forward to it!

i am planning a few changes to my blog and website.  one new feature i want to start having is a monthly goal feature.  i believe its important to document goals and hopefully my committing them to paper my blog, it'll be a reminder and help me to be more mindful of them.

Personally::

- CHRISTMAS!  This year will be the first year we get to stay home!  i am THRILLED to wake up in my own bed.  open presents under our own tree.  cook my own turkey (aka get all the yummy leftovers to myself!).  start some of our own traditions.  although i love spending time with our extended families, we have traveled to be with them for christmas for the last F.O.U.R. years and enough is enough.  i am so, so excited.

- go ice skating.  its a family tradition.  i promise to post pictures.  trust me, its not pretty.

- above-noted down time.

- work out.  i know -- who wants to think about that during the holidays?!  but i just started these incredible workout classes with the jillian michaels of the sunshine coast.  this lady is amazing.  plus, them i'll be virtually guilt-free when i eat a disgusting amount of turtles chocolates.

Business::

- order a few new products.  *yipee*

- new blog / site launch.  i have a feeling this will be repeated in january's goals.  even though it may not be published by the end of december, i'm working diligently on it.  and can't wait to share!!

- update the blog.  with all of my shoots that have i haven't posted.  bad bad melissa.

GOALS! 

- organize my christmas cards.  last year, i completely forgot til about december 26th and then it never happened.  i will be more organized this year!

- do a “End of the Year Review" of my favorite photos.  i always love when other photographers do this and have decided to jump on the bandwagon, too.

dad :: 2012

some nights i can't sleep.  this doesn't happen often.  sometimes, when it does happen, i'm very productive.  other nights, not so much.  i just click mindlessly through facebook and instagram til boredom makes me tired.  tonight is not one of those nights.  tonights i want to feel... feel fragile, feel vulnerable, feel exposed.

today would have been my dad's 60th birthday.  some times i feel the weight of his birthday days and weeks in advance, a looming sadness and melancholy.  other times i nearly forget and the shock of his birthday arriving has an unexpected, sharp pain.  like a bee sting.  

this year it snuck up on me.  i have been so preoccupied these last few days, with christmas preparations for our first year celebrating at home and in the general life of a mother with young children, surrounded with bottles and diapers and small cars and puzzle pieces.  i completely forgot today was the 18th til mid-morning, when judah realized that, with a fresh day, he was entitled to another advent calendar chocolate post-breakfast.

i've written a bit about my family before.  today i'm not going to.  in the spirit of my dad, who wrote poems for each and every occasion, i am just going to share a poem that i love.

dad, i miss you still.  i see you in the mischievous gleam in judah's eye and the dimple in his cheek.  i see you in the girls, in their twin-ness.  now that i have daughters, i wonder how you saw me as your baby girl.  about your upbringing was as a twin.  i can hardly believe you would only have been sixty this year -- as i age, it doesn't seem nearly old.  how have you been so long gone and missed so much?  i miss you still.  i wish we had had more time, healed.  xo m

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, 1927.

currently :: november 2012

here's my "currently" for november::

obsessed over::  the weather.  i don't think i've ever checked the weather as much i do since starting photography.  when i have a shoot coming up, i check it days before, the night before, hours before.  checking for the dreaded rain.  a rained out shoot is no fun.

working on::  simplifying.

thinking about::  how silly it was for me to sign up for a class at ubc.  honestly, what was i thinking?!  i thought that the fall, being slow season, would be a good time to work on courses to complete my degree.  i'm so SO close to being finished.  but, these days, i would way rather snuggle a baby and drink tea than study.  next time i have a great idea, i'm going to smother it with a pillow.

anticipating:: christmas.  i cannot believe how early everyone is decorating this year!  it seems like my facebook & instragram feeds constantly have new trees and lights and holiday decorations.  my only contribution so far some festive red nails and my christmas starbucks mugs being used.  i just cannot allow myself to start decorating until december 1st.

listening to::  the new mumford & sons album.  i have a serious obsession.

eating::  turkey.  we boycotted canadian thanksgiving this year, opting instead to eat pizza with some friends.  but i missed it.  i decided we'd celebrate american thanksgiving this year with a turkey and all the trimmings.  i plan on pulling out some recipes from my beloved pinterest account.

wishing:: for the new canon 24 - 70 f 2.8.  it's the last lens i want to add to my collection for a long, long time.  but it's just so darn expensive.  i hope that the lense fairy drops it off on my doorstep.  please oh please tell me there's a lense fairy.

dissing:: people who drive for extended periods of time with their blinkers on.  and the confusion of whether they are just REALLY early signal-ers or whether it's on accidentally.  grrrr.  and people who drive 60 in an 80 zone.  i get stuck behind these vehicles SO much on the coast.  double grrrrrrr.

laughing at::  my babies.  all three of them.  i never knew such joy til i met them.

fall 2012

this summer we used our giant kitchen chalkboard as a summer family activity checklist.  it was a great constant reminder to do activities together.  it's so easy to get in the routine of life, regular play and chores, that i find, for us at least, we can forget to do the special things.  i think these are SO important as that's what makes memories.  as a child, i have very few memories of regular days, but remember some of the special days so vividly.  

so, here's our fall checklist::  

feel free to steal it.  

i already stole it from justine.

she rocks.